REPAIR 
 A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the  
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is 
idling smoothly. 
She says, "What's the story?" 
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." 
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" 
 
 
 
SPEEDING TICKET 
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very 
nicely if he could see her license. 
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act 
together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you 
expect me to show it to you!" 
 
 
 
RIVER WALK 
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and 
sees another blonde on the opposite bank."Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How 
can I get to the other side?" 
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and 
shouts back, "You ARE on the other side." 
 
 
 
KNITTING 
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the 
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the 
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! 
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and 
siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his 
bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" 
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!" 
 
 
BLONDE ON THE SUN 
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The 
Russian said, 'We were the first in space!" The American said,"We were the 
first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So what? 
We're going to be the first on the sun!" 
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook 
their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" 
saidthe Russian. 
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. 
We're going at night!" 
 
 
 
IN A VACUUM 
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her 
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. 
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your 
name, can you hear it? 
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?" 
 
 
 
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! There was a blonde 
woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a 
child 
and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, 
took him behind a tree and wrote this note: 
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag 
behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde 
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him 
to go straight home. The next morning, she returned to the park 
to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as 
she had instructed. 
Inside the bag was the following note.... 
Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do 
this to another.